Virtual Cyber Products
On this page you get the rare chance to actually create reality. Reality is a multi-dimensional thing, with many realms that can't even be seen from the three or four dimensions that YOU, our Razmo Radio listeners, live in.
It is within these realms that Razmo Radio Corporation has built its huge cyber product warehouse system where we store our virtual cyber products. - Products that only presently exist in that twisted alternatve reality occupied by "Razmo Presents...". But the Razmo Radio Corporation offer you the chance to transport our virtual cyber-products from their faster than light negative energy well storage units into your dimension and have them delivered to your door by international courrier.
All you have to do to make this 21st century cyber-reality inter-manipulation take place is to order one of our ludicrous products by sending us hard cash. Provided that no inter-dimensional distortion is experienced on its way from the cyber-shelf, the goods will be hastily assembled into existence by Razmo Radio Corporation staff, poorly packaged in low quality brown paper and tied up with string. The newly created real three dimensional parcel will then be courriered to your door for your cherishment.
Please note that the price of our virtual cybergoods is rather high at the moment due to galactic uncertainty, and that our prices may actually have to rise if anyone is daft enough to send us money and we have to actually MAKE any of these items.
Speciality Items
"Razmo Presents..." manufacture a fantastic range of novelty underwear, exciting fashion accessories and unusual gifts. Surprise your friends with a wonderful gift on that special occasion.
Razmo Pubic
Hair Assortments:
A small amount of pubic hair from each member of the band in a special presentation
box. Only £150.00 excluding post and packing. Item Code RAZ1-PUBHRSEL.
N.B. International law expressly prohibits the cloning of Razmo from the contents
of this assortment.
Soiled Undergarments:
For that extra special loved one who deserves that little bit of extra effort,
Razmo Presents a selection of fine garments, each one vigorously soiled during
band improvisations. Soil types may include any assortment of the following
substances:
Sweat, Chocolate, Beer, Bodily Substances, Cherryade, House dust, Carpet fibres,
Coffee, Baking Products.
(Not suitable for those with nut allergies).
The undergarments feature
stains that are specific to the band member in question and the order codes
are as follows:
N.B. Postal Regulations expressly forbid sending items as offensive as these though Her Majesty's postal service, so Express Courier service will be required for all items in this category.
Freshly produced RAZ1-DARRENKEKS and RAZ1-BRUCEKEKS are classed as weapons of biological warfare and so cannot be supplied unless collected by the purchaser or given away freely by world super-powers to potentially dangerous militaristic regimes for use against other potentially dangerous militaristic regimes.
Razmo neither condones nor approves the use of soiled undergarments.
Important Note:
- Sexual Discrimination.
It has come to Razmo's attention that there are many web sites across the world
that do healthy levels of business selling soiled female underwear. Razmo consider
it an aggressive act of sexual discrimination that nobody in the world has at
any time attempted to buy any of our soiled under garments and shall be pursuing
legal retribution for this abominable slur against our high class products.
Razmo Bikini Bottoms:
Surprise your friends and amaze your parents with these fashionable bikini bottoms
with gross quantities of pubic hairs sewn around the insides! Guaranteed to
break the ice at parties!! The bikini line buster for the twenty first century!
Available in arbitrary colours and sizes.
Item Code RAZ1-PUBHRSEL Price £150.00 per pair.
Razmo Bikini Tops:
Razmo neither condones nor approves the use of bikini tops and so shall not
be offering such garments at any time.
Razmo Interesting
Wedding Wear.
Be the envy of your friends at your next wedding. Interesting garments that
are completely unsuitable for weddings and family occasions. Garments generally
consist of small cleaning pads and cotton-wool-buds glued onto old clothes from
charity shops using high quality cyano-acryalate based adhesives and bundled
into cheap wrapping paper with random heavy creases.
Item Code RAZ1-WEDDINGWEAR Price £150.00 per item.
. . . and of course, Virtually priceless virtual cyber-T-shirts!
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Guarantee Of Satisfaction.
All items carry the "Razmo Presents..." guarantee of satisfaction.
We guarantee that you have to accept whatever we may or may not send you and
be satisfied with that.
Disclaimer:
Due to boyant currency markets and unpredictable exchange rates it is unlikely
that you will receive any goods even if you are daft enough to send us large
quantities of money to the correct postal address.
FINAL NOTE !
Please do not confuse our very expensive high risk virtual cyber products with our fantastic range of real fashion items which you can find on our Fashion Items -T-shirts & Hats page.